Friday, July 16, 2010

Turned On
BLEICHER/GOLIGHTLY "Turned On" Curated by Joella March

ART REVIEW: Apparently i do art review now, yah fuck it why not. My first impression while looking around the show is that someone must be thinking about building a sardine processing factory inside a can of sardines. Also if you have been to Cal State Fullerton's sculpture department then you have been to this show. but that's not necessarily a bad thing. No one knows how to do kinetic like those crazy bastards. Certainly though somebody knows how to curate kinetic a hell of a lot better then Joella March. Her choices where excellent, a good balance of things to play with and things that play with you. But then they where all just rammed in to that tiny little space, no lube or nothing.

this might explain it better"At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles, sphincters, one is located about an 1 ½" above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas. The mucous membrane lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily and it does not heal as quickly as the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, are passing by, any tear is vulnerable to infection.

The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane. This can develop into an anal abscess that can become infected - more about that in a moment. Also, if your partner has any of the sexually transmitted infections (STI's), then you could get infected through the tear. So we are talking about gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure.) You do not want any of these STI's."link

ok sorry, ill get serious now, also while i was in that tiny little space i noticed a much bigger space right next to it.(which often happens when performing anal sex) so i ventured in to this space filled with paintings of varying quality. and i found a pair of people serving drinks. (which occasionally happens when venturing into the vaginal cavity). This insane European guy gave me and my friends a drink he called the experiment and wouldn't tell us what was in it. I'm guessing the secret ingredient was fermented urine and champagne, since this was Santa Monica. Oh, with an awesome view of the ocean and the pier. Great location for an art gallery really. but has to be as expensive as all hell to keep that space. I would have to guess that is why they went all sardine style on it's ass.

some of the art in the show was good too. Have you seen Kyle Chew's "jumping tv"? good stuff, any work that accidentally damages the gallery wall behind it passes my test for good art. in fact i think all art should be used to damage stuff. it should just be a requirement. Gallerists could learn a lot from demolition derbies. The jumping tv is a fucking steal at only 5,000 dollars. you should go buy it right now. or wait tell the show is over and i can hook you up on a sweet deal for that baby. but don't tell anyone because if the art maffia hears about this they will break my knee caps and force me to watch Corky Ramano. All Los Angeles art people love the movie Corky Ramano i have no fucking clue why, but its a fact, ask one.

Jim Jenkins is in the show. Remember that guy from talking about him in your city college sculpture class. Well i do. yup. Jim Jenkins... Jimmy jim jim janky janks jenkins.... Jim Jenkins, yah. allright did i mention i spilled one of my drinks allover my pants and the floor right at the entrance to the gallery then i sat outside by the fountain and enjoyed a moment of quiet reflection on the wonderful art i had seen. but then a shark came out of the fountain and i killed it with my trusty spear gun. the end.

links to art show

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