Saturday, February 5, 2011
it was five minutes to twelve, but I had a test at one. I had to spell check the word "acadamia". Yes something was wrong.
There had been at least ten different times that I actually sat down and studied for this test. Of those times two of them did not result in masturbation and self loathing. Honestly I don't remember what the test was for.
It was five minutes to twelve, but I just woke up. I had exactly twenty minutes to sit down and read my notes before the test. There was no worries because academia had taught me to develop my short term memory like nobody's business.
Unfortunately I spent fifteen of those minutes masturbating to a video of a pale skinned dark haired chick with small tits taking it in the ass from alternating black guys with big muscles and shaved heads. I could have done it in five but the black guys kept spitting into the girl's holes and that always grosses me out.
Yes something was wrong. I had only five minutes to spend really studying for the test. This was bad because failing this test would mean that I wouldn't graduate next semester with all my friends.
I got to class and took the test. I was relatively sure that I failed the test. But I sat there with a completed test sitting on my desk and thought about excuses I could give my teacher.
I came up with exactly ten different excuses. Of those excuses two of them would be most likely not to result in a sexual harassment charge being brought against me by the teacher.
It was five minutes to three, and I silently handed my teacher the test. She glanced down at it and looked back at me with loathing. I had misspelled the title of the first short essay in the test. In all probability I failed that test.
Unfortunately no one will ever know what grade I would have received on that test. Fifteen minutes after I handed the teacher my test she spontaneously combusted destroying all but two of the ten completed tests sitting on her desk. In the rules of academia this means that all of her students pass the test.
It was five minutes to twelve, but I just woke up from the stupidest dream. I was covered in a cold sweat but all I could think about is how in my dream I passed that test. I had exactly twenty minutes to study but I spent that time looking for a porn video on the internet that would involve a pale skinned dark haired chick with small tits taking it in the ass from alternating black guys with big muscles and shaved heads. Along with an overwhelming feeling of self loathing I had a hope that maybe everything would work it self out. I also made sure to spell check the word "acadamia" so I wouldn't misspell it on the test.