Friday, December 31, 2010
this morning I was brushing my teeth too hard and I accidentally jammed the toothbrush right up in to the side of my cheek. I got it entangled in a cord of flesh and had no choice but to wrench out the fleshy mass along with the tooth brush. At first i thought this advantageous as it looked as though i had accidentally ripped out a face tumor. As I examined the gorey mass, still attached to the inside of my cheek, an addition to my vision was forming. The tumorous mass was receiving light and sending it to my brain. I was viewing my own face from the angle of the mass. I then twisted the new eye around to view the rest of the bathroom. The attached toothbrush worked well enough as a tool to aim my eye with. At first the vision was blurry but as I looked over my bathroom the vision started to sharpen. That is when I saw something new. A blue glowing two and half foot tall door next to my toilet. There where thick pulsating tendrils that ran from the door to the inside of my toilet that looked like they fed off of the contents of my toilet bowl. For nearly twenty minutes I sat looking at that door afraid to touch it. But curiosity got the better of me and i opened the door and crawled through. On the other side the tendrils continued off about fifty yards to a large bland square building. I walked slowly and quietly up to the building and followed the walls around to the other side. Nothing could have prepared me for the horrors on the other side of that large bland building. All I could tell for certain is that it was a type of farm. What was being farmed there is harder to say but the word death describes it best. Mutilated piles of creatures like bloody haystacks. Along with thousand of living creatures barely alive. Strapped to machines that tore at them little by little rendering their limbs down to scarred protuberances. A thick aether hung around the farm less palatable then ammonia. Complimenting the visual horror, the farm seemed to function softly quietly humming along with a sharp interruption of tortured inhuman screams timed with the same frustrating regularity of a kitchen faucet drip. Loose organs and a fleshy pulpy foam carpeted the ground feeding insects many fattened close to the size of my foot. Further in to the distance lay rows of dead trees that still bore strange fruit. Bloated corpses hung like oranges. There was no sign of any intelligent life form operating the farm. Nothing but automated mutilation. The putrid mess got to my senses and I became dizzy, collapsed to the ground, and projectile vomited all over myself and the wall next to me. The vomiting and dizziness continued so powerfully my body tremored and I loss control of my bowels filling my shorts with liquid shit. The vomit that filled my nostrils barely hid the putrid smell of that farm. My eyes all three burned. I retreated from the barn crawling desperate. The weakness in my body killed my hopes to return through that door but i continued to crawl slower and slower. I crawled blindly following what I assumed was the blue pulsating tendril that led back to my toilet. For three days I attempted to crawl along that tendril frequently passing out only to be awaken by large insects biting at me. What small amount of energy my body could muster was wasted fighting off those hallow eyed insects. The tendril seemed to be withering away as well having not had my shit to feed it for a few days now. It would no longer be usable as a guide soon. Which did not matter to me I had accepted death. Suddenly, without warning, a cold metal hand grabbed me. It lifted me up. Paused for a second. A smaller sharper hand ripped the third eye off of my face. The hand carried me forward to the door and shoved me through it. The last experience I have from that world was the sound of the door locking. My smell alerted the neighbors almost instantly and i was taken to emergency care. But I refused to stay for even a day as I felt a new found duty to my metal savior. I needed to shit in my toilet. And feed that blue tendril for whatever unknown purpose it had. Which my friends is why i have invited you here to this party despite my weakened physical state. Obviously so soon after an ordeal like that I could not possibly have any shit to excrete in to the shinny white bowl. But you who had all so eagerly excepted these drinks, have all just ingested a powerful laxative. Do not worry my toilet has never clogged once.