Wednesday, March 17, 2010

how to make art

Originally uploaded by Death as it shook you
so i get myself drunk, drinking store brand vodka in the middle of the night so i can take a plaster bandage mold of my crotch. i have to wear two layers of tighty whitey underwear for this but i usually wear boxers, and this is a pretty odd feeling, double bagging it. i set the garage up for everything and i shut the garage door.
shaving off my body hair would have been a logical step but instead i cover my entire waist, ass, upper legs, and stomach with a good thick layer of baby fresh scented vaseline. Then i spray a good healthy coat of shellac over the underwear. Nothing more fun then drunken ass shellacing.
the water bowl for the plaster bandage is starting to cool off but there's no way in hell im going back outside wearing nothing more then a freshly shinned double thick pair of underwear. instead i take a quick drink of vodka and get to work plastering my crotch.
At about two thirds of the way through i realize i hadn't cut out enough plaster bandage, Luckily i left the scissors and the rest of the plaster bandage on the other side of the garage. This required me to very very very slowly walk across the garage using the kinda steps you can only make when your crotch is plastered to your left leg by a plaster shell that wraps around to half an ass cheek.
I finished the rest of the work with no problems other then a little cold water soaking on to my crotch. The mold solidified, i cut my top layer of underwear off, and i ripped the mold and a little bit of hair off my body. I add several layers of polyester resin with fiberglass and now i have made art. it's that simple people now go out and make some yourselves.

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